at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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