I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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