I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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