Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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