I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
