Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
