The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He felt like a one man threesome
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
