I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
