called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
