honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Still dying that you shit outside
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Randomize
