how can u be prego again
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
