The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
