Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
