My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
