she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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