I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
