so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
