okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
