i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
