I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
