My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
