That's intense
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
