Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
