He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
