i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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