i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
