Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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