Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
