brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
