Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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