i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
