your parents love me but you hate me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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