Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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