In the future we'll all be gay
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
