I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
