do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
