The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
