that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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