NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
