You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
