Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize