Your mouth is God's brothel.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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