Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
His nipple licking is glorious
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