she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
