well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
