Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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