YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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