I can text with my tongue
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
