Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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