I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
areolas are like halos for boobs.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
