A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
wakey wakey hands off snakey
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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