You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
